I don't like Easter. This will be the fourth year I don't like it. Every Easter I have the same memory and that memory took place four years ago. Four years ago was my freshman year of college and I came home that weekend. The night before Easter I was told that my parents whom I always assumed were great together were splitting up. My world fell apart. Sure you may think that is a bit dramatic but it changed me forever. I don't take thinks lightly, I am a very emotional person as most of you know. I remeber Mom telling me this and I was think are you serious this happens to everyone else not our family, it won't last they'll work it out. A little bit later Dad came home and he didn't say anything, he just went into the bedroom. The next day was Easter, he went up north, we went to Grandma's and acted like everything was okay. Mom didn't stay long. I know some people got used to the whole divorce thing faster than others, but it took me a long time. It altered mine and Jese's relationship. I distinced myself from him, fearful that he would just up and leave me some day. I cried myself to sleep many times. I was at a point where Jese asked me if I wanted to postpone the wedding because I just couldn't deal with our parents. At that point I realized I better get ahold of myself and fast if I didn't want to lose the best thing that happened to me, so I did. Of course it wasn't really fast and I never really got over it, I just learned to deal with it. On TV and in movies when parents get divorced the kids always think it is there fault and you think why would they think that. Well I managed to twist things up into thinking it was partially my fault too, just like all those TV kids. Here is how it went in my mind, I pushed my mom into archery, a sport that the whole family did but her. Well like everyone else she wanted to be the best so she started coming with me to Waseca to get help from Rick. Mom started to go there without me after I left for college to continue to get help. At that time Jese's parents were going through a divorce, so they would talk about it while they were shooting. So I always thought, would she have gotten a divorce if that one wasn't going on a it wasn't put in her head. So in my head, if I hadn't pushed her into archery none of this would have happened. Today I realize that this isn't the reason they got the divorce, it took me awhile to figure it out but I did, Jese and I got married on time and we will live happily ever after, just like we are supposed to. But you see every year around Easter since then I think about the day I was told my parents were seperating, it isn't a happy one. Last year I went to Easter hungover just because I didn't want to be there. I am over the divorce. I am happy Dad is happy with Rita and he will get his happily ever after with her. I am happy Mom is happy. But to me it is still a sad day and I don' like Easter. I will still show up with a smile on my face, but I just thought every one should know what was really behind that smile on Easter weekend.
Christa
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